I am losing my friends

I am married and the mother of several children. Baptised a Catholic, I was married in the church. Despite the everyday problems, I would be happy if it were not for the fact that I feel alone. I do not know how to keep my friends. Today I get along well with someone, tomorrow it turns sour.

I have decided to have no more friends ; but how can one live in society without friends, and above all how can one live one's Christian life while distrusting everyone ?

Irène

Answer

It seems to me that you would need to examine yourself to see why you lose all your friends. It is possible that there is in you a behaviour that others cannot bear. It would be delicate to assert that every time they are wrong; perhaps they do not understand you ? And even then, one has to see why. Do you not speak ill of others ? Do you not repeat their secrets to others ? Sirach 27:16 says « Whoever betrays secrets destroys confidence, and will never find a congenial friend ». Or perhaps you are a self-interested friend ; if others feel exploited, they will flee from you. Yet if you reproach yourself with nothing, it may be that you choose your friends badly. One must be able to share many things in common, including an ideal of life, for a solid friendship ; and the only ideal that does not divide is to follow Christ together. To look in the same direction, as Antoine de St-Exupéry would say, is a solid foundation ; Pray often with your friends ; encourage them to speak to you frankly.

Henri Bayemi