How can I remain chaste until marriage?

QUESTION 112

How can I remain chaste until marriage? Must I stay without a girlfriend?

Bernard

ANSWER

In fact, you need to have goals in life. There are people who do nothing but copy others without thinking. You need to have ambitions that will help you if they are closely tied to the Word of God; otherwise you will suffer greatly. It is not good to follow the crowd: 'you are in the world but you are not of the world' (Jn 17:16). People will not always agree with your desire to live chastely. Some will say that you are living in ancient times when we are in a modern era. A married woman confided to us that she has problems with her husband because in the past she was used to changing sexual partners. Today, she finds it difficult to be faithful to her husband. It is therefore important to keep your chastity until marriage. Otherwise it will also be difficult to be faithful in marriage. Walking together in a spiritual group at the parish can help you get there. You can have a friend, a girlfriend, and live chastely. Many couples have testified that they married as virgins and are happy in their households today. How will you get married if you have no friend? Marriage is based on friendship, and if you marry your girlfriend without being her friend, then your marriage is not on the right path. Chastity before marriage teaches you to respect the other person, to respect yourself, and it teaches you self-discipline, for if you do not control your impulses now, even married you will not be able to do so. You will always have temptations, but pray so as not to fall into them.

Henri Bayemi