FR
EN
QUESTION 115
Hello Father. Ever since I was a little boy, even before I joined the Word of God group, chastity had always been a principle of life for me, and this was strengthened even more when I joined the Word of God Group. In addition to the fear of God that I had by living out
chastity, I also thereby avoided getting a girl pregnant or contracting diseases. I even experienced disappointments with girls, simply because I lived out chastity. From those around me I was often the victim of insults asking me whether I was functioning properly. The pressure from others was very strong, but I resisted it. This went on for three years. Then quite recently I met a girl, and at the beginning our relationship was truly pure and untroubled. Soon we began to kiss and then to caress each other, until that fateful day when we fornicated. After that act, we realized how impure we had been, and then we said a prayer asking God to help us. We regularly do adoration together. The problem that arises is that we are weak, and often when we find ourselves in compromising positions, we kiss, and the risk of falling back into fornication draws near. We truly love each other and have plans to marry; the only question is how to avoid the sin of impurity while remaining fulfilled and psychologically stable.
STEVE
ANSWER
You are very sincere. This shows that you want to come out of this. God is merciful. Jesus came for sinners and not for the righteous, for the sick and not for those who are well. So it is good for you to go to confession. But a good confession means sincere regret and a decision not to do it again. That is the most important thing for you right now. Even though you have plans together, do not skip stages. There is a time for everything, the book of Ecclesiastes tells us. Imagine a farmer who, in order to make his maize grow very quickly, pulls hard on the plant from above. The stalk will break and he will lose the plant. You will have all the time you need later to do what is reserved for married couples.
There are young people who sometimes ask me whether, as soon as they are friends, they may kiss. I tell them ‘no’, and among the reasons is that it already predisposes them to go further. That is what you describe in the temptation that made you fall. Kissing, caresses, etc. You have to stop right from the start. So you do well to say that you must avoid isolation and compromising positions. If you do not resist temptation, you will feel dirty and impure: your conscience will not leave you in peace. So make efforts (2 Pet 1:5). I advise you to pray the rosary a great deal.
Henri Bayemi
