Won Over by Christ

Hello everyone,

I am the youngest child of a Christian family. I was baptized in infancy and later made my first communion at 11. I never prayed before eating; I simply made the sign of the cross. I had no time for personal prayer  and I would dodge the hours of family prayer. When  my mother said: «come, let's pray», I would immediately feel sleepy. I did not know what prayer was for. On top of that, I stole, I lied, and I had no respect for my elders. My favorite theft was to steal the fish from the pot and then lie to defend myself. I was afraid of no one; I insulted my elders and anyone I pleased, and whenever someone made the mistake of sending me on an errand or calling me, I would get angry and I would not budge at such an offense.

Saturday was somewhat like a cleaning day at home, and all that day I was not at home unless I was hungry, because I fled from work, for to me working was a punishment. At home my mother called me a witch; and all this affected my schoolwork. It is true that I passed my exams, but I did not shine. At home, I was not happy, since with my attitude no one loved me; when I began going to the Word of God group, everything that was said and done had no effect on me. I listened with one ear and quickly forgot it all. Yet I kept going, because at home it had become like a family tradition, and it was also an opportunity for me to meet my friends, and this atmosphere of young people pleased me well enough, but nothing more; we did not speak the same language.

One day during a retreat, I was touched by a testimony that spoke of obedience, and after the retreat I found myself making an effort at home to work and to be obedient, because I had then realized how Jesus was suffering from my behavior. And despite all that I did, He continued to love me, not punishing me; I felt that I had to change in order to please him too. In this way I understood why we were asked to live the Word of God. With all these efforts to be obedient at home in order to please Jesus, my mother now called me «my darling» and no longer «witch». My older sister, who in the meantime had gone off to university, when she came home during the holidays, was surprised to hear our mother call me ‘darling’, and she too saw that I had changed a great deal, and since then she showers me with gifts and promises. Somewhat as if, since I began trying to please Jesus, others too wanted to please me.  Yet I did not yet feel completely fulfilled; there was a kind of unease that I felt; it is true I was trying to please Jesus, but I did not yet feel him close, intimate. And again, during a retreat, I understood that personal prayer would help me to be more intimate with Jesus; that Jesus was my friend and that in this way I could speak to him with the same freedom with which one speaks to a friend; tell him my secrets, because more than anyone it is he who could keep my secrets, help me without disappointment, which no other being would do perfectly. So I began to pray, and since then I have my time of personal prayer, I have found a more solid joy; for I no longer feel alone; I have learned to speak to him as to my friend without growing weary, because I know that He listens to me.

This assurance of his presence, this relationship with Jesus has transformed the course of my life. People can hardly recognize the little wild child I was. Today when they see me so cheerful, in my family they name me the hardest worker; at school I have made a reputation for myself as a good student; yet I am aware that I must always stay connected to Jesus, because it is when I fix my gaze upon Him that He gives me the strength and the desire to please him; to love him and to serve him. My commitment in the Word of God group helps me keep the flame burning, thanks to the community life in which we support one another. I try to remain faithful to the charism of the group in my personal relationship with Jesus, in the living out of the Word, and in the sharing of the Word. All this helps me when moments of discouragement arise, when I am tempted to let everything go and to be like other young people my age; but the faithful love of Christ is always there to support me and encourage me through various means: when I go to the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament or to confession, I always feel revived, strengthened. At this end of the year, I would like to encourage everyone to be a friend of Jesus and to welcome his word, so as to celebrate his birth well at Christmas.

Happy New Year