The Annunciation

25 March is the Feast of the Annunciation, and it is a very important date because it marks the conception of Jesus. According to the Church calendar, Jesus was conceived on 25 March and was born nine months later on 25 December. 25 March is therefore a special moment when God becomes flesh.

God, who was ‘far from us’, brings Himself within our reach. Before, we were separated from Him because of our sin and our offences; so we were distant from God. We see how offences can often create distance between us. And this is particularly true between people who love one another. When we love someone, we are very sensitive to what the other person does to us. The harm the other person causes us offends us deeply.

1. If your father is unfaithful, it hurts your mother deeply. She suffers because of it, and you yourselves are unhappy because you see how it is destroying their relationship and you know that they are not as close to one another as they ought to be because of his unfaithfulness.

2. If your father or mother drinks heavily and is often drunk, they make a fool of themselves and your friends even make fun of you because of it; that hurts.

3. And even with your friends, you can feel hurt: you have a friend who’s always taking advantage of you; they always expect you to be the one to reach out to them, to visit them, to give them presents, to ring them; yet when you have a problem, he or she always has an excuse for not helping you, but when it’s their turn, they expect you to be there – otherwise they even get angry. So all of this upsets you; it hurts deep down, and you feel hurt. You might even have a friend who’s betrayed your trust; you confided secrets in them which they went and betrayed, he or she spread rumours about you, and that was just the tip of the iceberg – it hurt you so much.

4. You have a friend who doesn’t have your best interests at heart; they’re always giving you bad advice, and every time you’ve followed their advice, you’ve run into problems. This gets on your nerves because you can even tell they’re jealous of you. And you’ve started to hate them deep down, even though they used to be your friend.

5. There are many ways in which we might have been offended. Everyone can, in their heart, list all the offences they have suffered.

So what are our usual reactions when we’ve been offended?

1. Some decide to take revenge. They say revenge is the sweetest dish. You hurt me, I’ll hurt you back… Just like in the films.

2. Others decide to ignore the other person; they act as if the person doesn’t exist; that’s what I used to do – when you’d annoyed me, I’d decide not to see you any more. But this is to deny God’s creation.

3. Others decide to cut all ties; we’ll just say ‘hello’ to one another, that’s all.

But is that what God expects of us? Not at all. We have offended Him; indeed, we offend Him every day, almost at every moment; but on 25 March He decided to bring about reconciliation, to be reconciled with us—which is why He agreed to be conceived on that day. The day of reconciliation with humankind. So God also expects us to forgive. There is no wrong that can be done to us that we have not done to Him, and He has forgiven, and He wants us to forgive. It is true that forgiveness is very difficult. There are times when forgiveness is very difficult. In the Lord’s Prayer, we say ‘as we forgive’; so if I do not forgive, God will not forgive me. Let us consider how God forgives us; we always return to Him with the same sins; always the same foolishness, and we expect Him to forgive us. And what about us? Do we forgive too? Do we think we are more important than God, who forgives us? Or wiser? Revenge is very human; we always tend to love those who love us and to hate those who hate us. Yet God asks us what is so extraordinary about merely loving those who love us and do us good. We are called to have a godly character, a life that forgives ‘77 times 7’, as the Bible says. There are people who are often proud to say: ‘Honestly, when you do something to me, I won’t let it go; I won’t forgive; I have to get my own back.’ So when they say that, they believe they are strong, that people admire them for being strong; it is as if they were saying: ‘Honestly, I’m imitating the devil.’ Besides, it is easier not to forgive than to forgive. So the truly strong person, the true hero, is the one who forgives. Who humbles themselves.

People often have misconceptions about forgiveness: contrary to what people think, to forgive is not to forget. God has forgiven us, but He has not forgotten that we are sinners. To forgive is not simply to say, ‘I have forgiven you’. Forgiving does not mean you will no longer feel hurt. Forgiving is the desire to forgive. It is the decision to forgive. And the first step towards forgiveness is to pray for the person who has wronged you. It is the beginning of liberation.

Forgiveness means restoring the relationship. I do not mean that if you have broken off a relationship with someone with whom you were involved in dishonest dealings, you should go and reconcile with them simply because we have been told to forgive. I am talking about a pure relationship before God.

Loving through actions that show I have forgiven. For it is harder to forgive than to say, ‘I won’t eat so that I may fast’.

The fruits of forgiveness are many: first of all, we are sanctified; we become like God; we are close to Him and can receive His graces. He answers our prayers; He blesses us; we are free. Not in the prison of hatred and resentment. When we do not forgive, we are stuck. You misinterpret everything the other person does. If they laugh, you say they’re mocking you; if they cough, you say they’re attacking you; if they walk, you say they’re showing off. If they speak, you say they’re only trying to annoy you. Everything about them annoys you.

It’s good to offer forgiveness, but it’s just as good to ask for forgiveness. People find it very hard to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes they admit they’ve done wrong, but they’d rather do something than say ‘I’m sorry’. Besides, we rarely admit we’re in the wrong; we always have an explanation for everything: ‘I did this because…’ and we don’t ask for forgiveness. Even when we have a good reason, wrong is wrong and we must ask for forgiveness. People often go too far in justifying themselves: instead of asking for forgiveness and saying ‘I admit my fault’. Pride destroys the spiritual life. Even if the other person does not accept your apology, you must ask for forgiveness. Mary says it in the Magnificat: God brings down the mighty and lifts up the humble. We must even ask for forgiveness from those who are younger than us. Thus, 25 March is a day of reconciliation: God comes to meet those who are sinners. Romans 5:8: God loved us whilst we were still sinners. Let us devote this whole period leading up to the 25th to forgiveness. On the 25th or the following Sunday, I will be able to offer this as the fruit of my love to God. In this way, I will have truly lived the feast of the Annunciation, the feast of reconciliation within the Movement of the Incarnation.

God offers me the greatest forgiveness; why should I refuse to forgive? Lord, Holy Spirit, give me the strength; help me to forgive.

Recommendation

1. Pray for someone who has wronged you

2. Make a gesture of forgiveness

Henri Bayemi