I risk losing my virginity...

QUESTION 136

For a few years now, curiosity has led me to discover the pleasure of impurity through caresses, arousal and other things, and since then I risk losing my virginity every time. I am overwhelmed. Every time, I pray rosaries and novenas, but there is still a risk that I may fall. Help me, papa.

Sandrine

ANSWER

Recently I saw a video of someone who was on the edge of a cliff on a motorcycle, on a road barely one metre wide; and if he made one small wrong move, he would tumble down and lose his life. When you are very close to a sin, there is a great risk of committing it. If, to fight loneliness, you shut yourself away in a dark corner with your boyfriend, there is a very good chance that you will come close to the worst. Be careful, for many have crossed the red line and ended up falling even though they believed themselves to be very strong. When God tells you to flee impurity and fornication, He is in fact protecting love. Otherwise, disappointments will tear your heart apart. 

The pleasure you speak of was created by God to be lived within a particular framework so that it may bear fruit according to God's plan. Imagine you are a mother buying Christmas gifts for your children in order to surprise them on Christmas Day by placing them under the Christmas tree. If, out of extreme curiosity, your child were to sneak into the room before the appointed date, open the toy and start playing, not only would you be displeased, but the child himself would no longer feel the joy of surprise when you give him that toy on the big day. Stop these deep kisses. In marriage, you will live through all the stages of sexuality: be patient. In order to hold firm, in addition to the prayers you say, avoid pornographic films and reading, and read the Bible often: 'Whoever remains in my word is truly my disciple' (Jn 8:31).

Henri Bayemi