Returning to God

The gift of life

God created us free. “I set before you life and death. Choose life” (Dt 30:14-15). Life is very beautiful, and it would be foolish to squander this most precious gift of life. Life is a pearl, and Jesus says: “do not throw your pearls before swine. They will trample them underfoot.”

Just as the prodigal son had squandered his goods, so we often squander our lives, believing we are enjoying them. This squandering is what sin is.

Sin

I should not do with my life whatever I please. Since it is God who created me, I must use my life by following the directions of the one who gave it to me. Many times I have not followed God’s guidance for my life, and I have damaged it. When the prodigal son had squandered his whole inheritance, he grew hungry and began to suffer. The side effect of sin is the lack of joy, of peace, of happiness; it is sadness and complaint. What does the most harm to the world, to my family, what harms me most, is sin. Every time I am unhappy, it is because I am not living as God wants. The prodigal son, in his misery and suffering, sought work with a swineherd. For the Jews this is a great humiliation, since the pig is an animal one does not eat—a forbidden animal, considered accursed. To be in the service of pigs is, for them, beneath human dignity. This son even wanted to eat the food of the pigs, but no one gave him any. Sin debases us; it makes us lose our human dignity. It makes us lose our identity as children of God. We lower ourselves to become less than animals. This is how one can boast of possessing goods when in fact we ought to be masters over them. Man’s worth lies not in what he possesses but in who he is. Sin makes man ugly; it disfigures him.

Returning to God

This prodigal son, in a moment of reflection, thought: ‘how many of my father’s hired workers have food in abundance, while here I am dying of hunger; I will rise and go to my father, and I will say to him: “father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired workers.”’ This son did not truly know his father’s heart. The idea we often have of God is not right. We often see him as a vengeful God, lying in wait to punish us. A god who cannot forgive this or that particular sin. God is a perfect father. His arms are always wide open to welcome us, as the father did for the prodigal son. The son rose and set out to find his father. We, on the other hand, so many times refuse conversion, refuse to change our lives. It is like refusing to leave prison. People often say: ‘I can’t help it, it’s my character, I’m just like that; I’ve behaved this way for a very long time’; ‘I’m no saint’—but in fact holiness is your vocation. Others still complain in these terms: ‘I would really like to get out of this character, this situation, this dependence, but I can’t; it’s stronger than me.’ This is to admit that one acts like an addict, unable to break free. Indeed, by ourselves we are incapable of going to God. By yourself you cannot cut the chains of sin. The Curé of Ars says: ‘it is not the sinner who returns to God. Rather, it is God himself who runs after the sinner and brings him back to himself.’

The encounter with the Father

While the son was still far off, the Father saw him and ran to meet him. The son asked for forgiveness: ‘I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son…’ The Father does not even let him finish; he had been waiting for him for so long. Perhaps you are still far from God. Perhaps you are not living your vocation as he wants. But he comes to meet you now. At this very moment he runs to you; he embraces you. What joy for the Lord to meet you! Parents always have great joy when their sick child recovers health; or again when a child comes home after a long absence. In this season of Lent, if you too return to God, he would be just as joyful and would cover you with his kisses, even though you do not see it. Further on in the reading, the father of the prodigal son said: ‘quick, put a ring on his finger, sandals on his feet, a white robe.’ The prodigal son undergoes a transformation. God loves you as you are, but he does not want you to remain as you are; he does not want you to remain in sin. He wants you to have a new relationship with him. Then he says: ‘kill the fatted calf, let us celebrate, for my child was lost, and I have found him. He was dead and has come back to life.’ To be converted is a feast in heaven. It is the joy of God; returning to him is happiness. This Lent is the time to make known the joy of reunion and to speak to God as to one’s father: ‘Father, here I am, I am coming back, my God.’

Henri Bayemi