"Do not let the sun go down whilst you are still angry" Eph 4:26

‘You have heard that it was said to the ancients: “You shall not commit murder; whoever commits murder will be liable to judgement.” But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgement.’ These words of Jesus, as recorded by Saint Matthew (5:1–22), serve as a warning, for anger hinders the fulfilment of love. We are now in a season of grace: Lent. A time when God awaits our growth in love.

How often have we regretted actions we have taken and words we have spoken whilst in a fit of anger? Saint Ignatius of Loyola, one of the great spiritual masters of discernment, says that one should not make any important decisions whilst angry, for fear of making many mistakes. But more often than not, the opposite is true: for example, it is whilst a married woman is angry that she packs her belongings and leaves her home; the husband, in a fit of anger, files for divorce; and so we sometimes see a couple ending up separating simply on the spur of the moment, in a fit of rage, when they really did not want to. It is when parents are in the heat of the moment that they hit or punish their children, often excessively. One should not punish a child simply because one is angry, but solely to correct them. I have heard stories of young people who, in a fit of anger and to ‘punish’ their parents, decided to take their own lives. It is true that the parents suffered as a result, but these young people lost their lives.

‘You are wise, my beloved, yet let no one neglect to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. For human anger does not bring about the righteousness of God’ (James 1:19–20). The Bible presents God to us as slow to anger. We get angry for various reasons: we are offended, disappointed, or others do things we consider wrong. It is true that sometimes we are offended and wronged. But how many times have we offended God? We want others to act perfectly, yet we ourselves are imperfect. How much discord there is in Christian families. ‘Are you angry? Do not sin; do not let the sun go down whilst you are still angry’ (Eph 4:26). How can I pray properly, offer a genuine prayer, whilst I am angry? Jesus said: ‘If you are offering your gift at the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, first go and be reconciled with him, and then come and offer your gift’ (Mt 5:23–24). Anger does not foster true prayer. We are surprised when others let us down, yet we too do them wrong. Take a child, for example, who breaks a glass or a plate; in many cases, they will be scolded and severely punished by their parents. Yet when a glass breaks in our own hands, we are quick to make excuses: ‘I didn’t do it on purpose, the glass slipped out of my hands, I didn’t see it.’ We are understanding towards ourselves but often find it hard to understand others. Anger is a work of the flesh (cf. Gal 5:19–21). Sometimes we even take things too far by blaming others for our own mistakes and getting angry with them for faults we ourselves have committed. We take it out on others and shirk all responsibility.

‘Let not your spirit be quick to anger, for anger lies in the heart of fools’ (Eccl 7:9). Jesus asks us not to judge others so that we may not be judged. He asks us to forgive if we wish to be forgiven: ‘Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us’ (Matthew 6:12). And Matthew (6:14) makes it clear that our forgiveness depends on the forgiveness we grant to others. In Matthew 8:23–35, Jesus tells us the parable of the master who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. Among them was one who owed him a great deal of money: as he had no means to repay it, the master ordered that he, his wife, his children and all that he possessed be sold to settle the debt. Throwing himself at the master’s feet, the servant pleaded: ‘Have mercy on me, be patient with me, and I will pay you back everything.’ Moved with compassion, the master let him go and forgave his debt. On leaving the palace, the servant came across one of his fellow servants who owed him a very small sum; he seized him by the scruff of the neck and squeezed him so hard he was nearly choking, saying, ‘Pay me back my money’; his fellow servant threw himself at his feet, saying: ‘Be patient with me; I will pay you back,’ but the other refused; he had him thrown into prison until he had paid back the whole sum. Seeing what had happened, the onlookers went to tell the master everything that had taken place. So, summoning him, he said to him: ‘You wicked servant! I had cancelled that entire debt for you because you begged me to; should you not also have shown mercy to your fellow servant, just as I showed mercy to you? Then the master put him in prison.’ This is how my Father will treat you, unless each of you forgives your brother from the bottom of your heart. This parable of Jesus teaches us the necessity of forgiveness and patience.

On 25 March, the Feast of the Annunciation, the Movement of the Incarnation is organising a day of reconciliation for members of the Word of God groups. If God the Father has forgiven us by sending his Son to become incarnate, we too must forgive. This forgiveness can be offered before that date and presented on that day. We can also perform an act of reconciliation on the Feast of the Annunciation. Even if forgiveness is difficult, pray for the person who has wronged you.

Henri Bayemi