Humility and Respect in Young Parolians

We must adopt the lifestyle of Jesus, and one of Christ’s characteristics was mentioned in the text: kenosis, which is the self-emptying of Jesus; Christ humbles himself to teach us humility. Humility is a great Christian virtue; it is the core of all virtues. You cannot practise the virtues of charity, patience, or any other virtue without humility. Let those who think themselves masters serve others. Young members of the Word must be humble.

The world, on the other hand, teaches us pride; young people these days are very proud – one need only look at the way they walk; they are full of themselves: their backs hunched, their arms arched, their shoulders raised…

Every young person knows in what manner their pride manifests itself. This happens when young people seek to assert themselves, to discover the world: boys wear earrings and let their trousers hang low… all of this means they do not accept their lot in life; this is how they mask the truth.

To be humble is to live in truth; to take pride even in speaking one’s mother tongue, to accept one’s language, one’s village and even one’s parents…

There are young people who are ashamed to say that their mother is a housekeeper, or that their father is already retired. Yet it is they who have fed you and raised you. In friendship, it is the one who accepts you who is your true friend.

Even on Facebook, we show who we’re not; we post a photo that isn’t really us. We turn away from the truth of Christ and into the lies of the devil.

To be humble is to be true to oneself. Unfortunately, young people lie about their academic level, their class, their age…

Humility means showing myself as I am; it also means showing respect in deed, in action and in word. Having the humility to speak to one’s parents with respect: there are young people who raise a hand against their parents or snap back at them.

In the Church, respect is shown in the titles used for the clergy: the Pope is addressed as His Holiness, and a bishop as Monsignor. They wear a ring on their finger, and anyone wishing to greet them must kiss that ring as a sign of respect.

Many young people today no longer know what respect is. The young person should always be the first to greet; when you meet an adult, you must greet them: this is part of humility; even if it bothers you, consider it a sacrifice.

This respect has another practical aspect: in our culture, eating the viper is considered an honour. This respect therefore means that when a young person starts earning money, it is right that they set some aside to give to their father and mother. But young people tend instead to say to their parents, ‘You gave birth to me, so I’ll give birth to my own children too – bye!’ Yet your father and mother must feel respected – not just when you receive your first pay cheque, but also whenever you have other sources of income; you should give gifts as much as you can…

When you arrive at a family’s home, you mustn’t rush straight for the sofa, as it belongs to the head of the household. You must wait to be offered a seat; you mustn’t just sit down, take off your shoes and cross your legs on the sofa; behaving well in this way is part of humility.

Humility must be evident in our speech; young people no longer know how to respond respectfully to their elders or parents. So when an adult asks a young person, ‘Have you done my work?’, instead of replying ‘Yes, Dad’ or ‘Yes, Mum’, the young person answers ‘Yes!’ or ‘Wye!’ or ‘Wèèè’.

Humility and respect must be evident in the school environment. To learn better, one must act as if one knows nothing; one must respect teachers and respect one’s boss in the workplace; all of this is humility.  Those in work know that there is a section on respect in their performance appraisal, and this forms part of their progression or promotion at the end of the year within the civil service. One must say: “Yes, boss!” There are young people who say: ‘“Yes, boss” to what?! Why do I have to say that? Do I eat at his house?’

Respect doesn’t mean doing everything others want. As a boss, it’s doing your job well that earns you value and respect from your staff. Even then, if you’re not respected, tell yourself that even Jesus wasn’t always respected.  It’s not being mean that earns you respect. People may be afraid of you without respecting you.

Even within the group, we must respect those in charge even if they are younger than us; we must be humble and accept them. St Paul said to Timothy: ‘Let no one despise your youth’ (1 Tim 4:12).

At the beginning, the first young members of the Paroli community were humble, but this is no longer very much the case for the majority. Some of those early members have even slipped back in their humility. It is not too late. Let us all strive to be humble and respectful.

Pride is a great danger in the spiritual life. Let us ask the Lord for the grace of humility. Amen!

Henri Bayemi