Friendship with God

We are all made for friendship. The desire to have a friend – a true friend – is ingrained in each of us. It’s true that disappointments in various friendships mean that people today no longer believe in friendship. Those we love are often the ones whose hurt hurts the most. Loneliness is hell, and many people feel lonely and misunderstood, even if they are married. There’s no denying that some people do have good friends. But these friendships are often unsatisfying.

Divine friendship

The only friendship that is eternal and complete is that with God. Christianity is the only religion in which God regards humankind as a friend. ‘God spoke to Moses as a man speaks to his friend’ (Ex 33:11). ‘I no longer call you servants; I call you friends’ (John 15:16). Friendship with God is the only eternal friendship, the one that lasts for ever. We may lose our closest earthly friends, our husband or our wife. But God is always with us, even though we are not always with him; ‘I am with you always, to the end of the age’ (Mt 28:20). The risen Jesus is with us. ‘God is not far from any of us ’ (Acts 17:27). In fact, man’s vocation is communion with God. Man’s greatest dignity is communion with God (Vatican II). It is friendship with God that makes us more fully human. The closer I am to God as a friend, the more I am a true man or woman. When we are not truly friends with God, we are not very different from animals. What makes us more fully human is our friendship with God. The heart of our faith is friendship with God. Unfortunately, many Christians, even those who go to church, are unaware of this truth, which is nevertheless fundamental to our faith. This is what causes so many problems in the Church. During this Easter season, the living Jesus invites you to a true and personal friendship with him. He wants to have a personal relationship with you.

Temptations that stand in the way of friendship with God

Friendship with God is vital; that is to say, like a foetus and its mother, it gives us life. If the umbilical cord is cut whilst the foetus is still in the womb, the foetus will no longer live. We often believe that praying is about doing God a favour. But if we do not pray, we suffer. It is we ourselves who gain by accepting and living out divine friendship. Pope Francis has just reminded us that whoever does not pray to God prays to the Devil. A lack of true friendship with God is a source of sin. Temptations attack the very core of our faith because the Evil One knows that if we have no friendship with God, we have spiritual AIDS. We become vulnerable and weak. It is for this reason that the Catechism of the Catholic Church, drawing on Saint John Chrysostom, teaches us that when we are in communion with God, it is impossible to sin. Whoever prays is certainly saved; whoever does not pray is certainly damned (No. 2744). When you love someone, you make time to be with them. Your time together even becomes a moment of excitement and joy. Yet many of you actually dread even a one-to-one encounter with God. Many dread 20–30 minutes of personal prayer. When you do not care about someone, you neglect your appointments with them. When you are not really interested in someone, whilst you are with them, your mind wanders to other things. So when you’re not used to being with someone, you don’t know what to say to them; you get bored in their presence. That’s why there are people who dread the moment of meeting God. Even when they’re with God, their minds are completely elsewhere. In prayer, they don’t know what to say to him; they get bored. When they miss a time of prayer, they feel as though they’ve been set free. So many people neglect their time of prayer and conversation with God. They take refuge in activities that serve as an escape. ‘To pray is to meet regularly, one-on-one with God, whom we know loves us,’ said Saint Teresa of Ávila.

Practical aspects of friendship with God

Talk to Him heart to heart. Tell Him your secrets, and so on. The more time you spend with someone, the more you learn to love them. The more you seek time to be with God, the more you will come to love Him. If you truly want to love God with all your heart and with all your strength, as the Scriptures ask, make a regular effort to spend time with him. Seek to be with him every day; faithfulness in friendship with God is a treasure.

Henri Bayemi