Asking for Forgiveness

When God creates the world, he sees that everything he has made is good. Unfortunately, sin entered the world, bringing suffering to the human community. Men and women hurt one another. There are people who know that they have done wrong and that the other person is hurt. They know that they have angered the other. Yet some remain in their corner and find justifications for themselves. ‘He does not know that it is because I was ignorant that I did that. Does she not know that I was in a moment of weakness? How could I have resisted? I too am human and I have weaknesses; let him do what he wants.’ Others even, having done wrong, act as though they were the ones who were hurt. Such reactions, however common they may be, can only encourage revenge, poison the atmosphere of peace, bring division, and destroy families.

Acknowledging One’s Fault

If I have done wrong to my brother or my sister, I must acknowledge it. I must accept that I am at fault. ‘If we say we have no sin, we make Jesus a liar’ (1 Jn 1:8). I cannot claim never to have done wrong to others. To acknowledge one’s fault is a sign of strength and not of weakness. For there are people who think they are never wrong. They think that if they acknowledge their fault they will be branded as weak. One must have the courage to acknowledge one’s wrong actions and one’s faults. Diagnosing an illness is the beginning of healing, because the physician can then prescribe the appropriate medicine. If I already acknowledge that I have acted wrongly, it is a great step in life with God and with my brothers and sisters. This acknowledgment must be not only in my heart, but I must have the courage to express it, for there are some who manage to acknowledge that they have done wrong, yet before the offended person, they are as though mute. One must nevertheless come to say: ‘I acknowledge that I acted wrongly.’ In confession, it is not enough to make one’s examination of conscience; one is also asked to tell one’s faults to the priest with clarity.

Asking for Forgiveness

But the acknowledgment of my fault must be followed by a request for forgiveness. Here again, many find it hard to ask for forgiveness. We believe that asking for forgiveness is to be weak. But it is the opposite, for it is not a forced demand, like persecutors who would demand that their victims cry out for help, but a voluntary and gentle request.There are people so proud that they cannot ask for forgiveness. Some have even never asked forgiveness of anyone. Asking for forgiveness is a sign of humility, and God exalts the humble. So asking for forgiveness is a sign of greatness.

If you have problems with someone and they come to ask your forgiveness, contrary to what the world believes, you are not the stronger one. It is the one who asks forgiveness who is great before God. When King David offends God, he humbly asks him for forgiveness (Ps 51). Asking for forgiveness is not necessary only for great wrongs. Even in the small offenses of each day, one must ask for forgiveness. As a sinner, there are always reasons for forgiveness in the family, in the community, in the parish. Asking sincerely for forgiveness and putting everything at stake so that the other feels that you are sorry. There are people who acknowledge their faults but who do not dare to utter these words: ‘forgive me, excuse me.’ But actions too must accompany the request for forgiveness. Parents must also teach their children to ask for forgiveness.

Forgiving

If someone asks us for forgiveness, we must forgive, whatever the offense. We ask God’s forgiveness for our daily faults. We too must forgive if others ask us for forgiveness. God is slow to anger and full of love. We are his children. ‘Be perfect as your Father is perfect’ (Mt 5:48). So if we want to be holy, we must forgive. Begin by praying for the one who has hurt, offended, or humiliated us. Here is the year of the Jubilee of Mercy. Let us ask for forgiveness and perform works of mercy.

Henri Bayemi